5 reasons not to visit the Edinburgh Festival

Expensive

Let's face it, Edinburgh in August is extortionate:

photo from http://flickr.com/photos/tracy_olson/61056391/

What normally pays for a penthouse suite will only get you a park bench.
Beer mysteriously gets more expensive every year at the end of July.
And even if you can afford a pint after paying for your park bench the city is:

Crowded

Oh yes the city is bustling, busy, sweaty and overcrowded. It is packed like two cans of sardines pressed into one.

photo from: http://flickr.com/photos/reblf/492141838/

You will get absolutely no Scottish culture whatsoever as the whole city is packed to the rafters with:

Foreigners

There is at least one representative of every country on earth packed into Edinburgh. The streets look like a living, breathing, pulsating early 80s Benetton advert.

photo from: http://press.benettongroup.com/

If that's not enough, as you struggle to navigate Royal Mile you will be bombarded with:

Stupid questions about the castle

In particular visitors from North America cannot quite grasp that the castle is a permanent feature in Edinburgh.

photo from: http://flickr.com/photos/eastdakota99/608623621/

No it is not inflatable. No it is not a facade erected specially for the festival. No it is not a hologram. All of this means:

The locals have no humour

photo from: http://flickr.com/photos/thalamus/2550980953/

This is meant ironically and of course we would love to see you here in August, along with the 100s of 1000s of others :)

• 03 Jul 2008
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