If cars were accommodation

Company cars and accommodation are often organised for you without your involvement and while the idea is exciting the reality is often not.

You can guess the type of accommodation your company will organise for you by the kind of car they give you!

Trabant

Your employer is happy for you to mix up oil and petrol every time you need to fill up, carry a swiss army knife everywhere you go, arrive at meetings with oil on your pinstripe and generally make do the chances are high that they'll put a tent in the boot for you.

Reliant Robin

Your company takes a Del Boy attitude to your business trips, they save car pool expenses by only having 3 tyres to maintain and in all likelihood you will find yourself sharing a room with 13 sweaty backpackers in a youth hostel.

Austin Allegro

Your manager hold nothing but contempt for you, sending you 100s of miles in this deathtrap, it should come as no surprise that your accommodation is being towed behind you in the form of a caravan and a grotty one at that.

A Vauxhall

Your corporation is an anonymous beast, your company car is whichever model they had to take 12 of in order for the director to get his Jag. You will be put up in a non descript hotel on business trips, most likely one which offers cashback or airmiles to your boss.

German car

Whether a VW Passat, BMW, Audi or Porsche your organisation cares for you, your comfort, safety and image. They will arrange a serviced apartment for you, if they really love you it will be a penthouse!

• 30 Jun 2008
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